Post a Selfie in Support of #ISF3Wishes and Childhood Cancer Awarness

I don't think I've ever posted a "selfie" before. So, if I'm going to go the popular, smart-phone/social-media-propelled route of vanity, it may as well be for a great cause. The Isabella Santos Foundation has launched its 3 Wishes campaign to raise awareness for childhood cancer.

The Charlotte-based nonprofit's namesake is the late Isabella Santos, a remarkable seven-year-old girl who died last summer from a rare form of childhood cancer called neuroblastoma. ISF was founded in 2009 by Isabella's parents while their little girl battled the disease. In just a few years, the foundation has raised more than $350,000 for neuroblastoma research and other children’s cancer charities.

Isabella Santos. Credit: facebook.com/IsabellaSantosFoundation

Now, with the 3 Wishes campaign, you can honor the memory of this beautiful little girl by doing something you probably often do: Post a selfie. But take it a step further by including three wishes you would want to see realized by children battling cancer.

My 3 Wishes are:

• That princesses get kisses.

• You'll always have reasons to smile.

• Outgrow your "Proud Cancer Survivor" T-Shirt.

You're asked to post your selfie on Twitter, Instagram, and/or Pinterest and use the #ISF3Wishes hashtag; and post it on ISF's Facebook page. Spread the word too, particularly to your friends who have social media accounts full of selfies (you know who you are).

In my list of wishes, I got the idea for the first one from a touching video ISF recently created about Isabella's life. Shortly after the three-minute mark, there's a scene taken from the Santos's home videos showing Isabella, who looked like she was only about four years old at the time, telling her little brother Grant that: "Princesses need kisses."

I've seen several creative #ISF3Wishes posts, created by parents (with artistic abilities far better than me) and many featuring children close to Isabella's age, such as this one on Facebook:

Visit www.isabellasantosfoundation.com and follow on Twitter @TheISFoundation.

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'FOX News Rising' Dances to Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston, sadly, will be laid to rest Saturday. While her funeral at New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey is invitation-only, it's scheduled to be broadcast live on TV and the Internet at noon.

This morning on FOX News Rising, the FOX Charlotte show decided to dedicate this week's Friday Dance Party to Whitney. The crew--from anchors and reporters to production and the newsroom--danced to the music legend's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." Watch the FNR video below.

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Pause.

My apologies for not blogging here on Grown People Talking last week. It was an extremely busy week for me--professionally and personally. I didn't completely leave you hanging in the blogosphere, though, since I managed to post a couple of times each on my other two blogs: Dusk Till Dawn (Charlotte nightlife) and The DNC In The CLT (2012 Democratic National Convention).

I plan to get back to blogging on GPT this week, but through all of the ripping and running I do, it's important that I pause from time to time. So I'd like to remind you to do that as well. And when you pause, perhaps you'll reflect on something or someone in your life, see a different perspective, or gain a new appreciation.

Within a week's time, two people I know who are close to my age passed away. The first was Megan Zachary, 30, a student advocate for A Child's Place here in Charlotte, whom I got to know through the mentoring program I volunteer in. The second was my cousin and friend Chris Young, 33, from my hometown, Rembert, SC. He'd had a heart transplant a few years ago and dealt with complications ever since.

Both of them were very positive people and pleasures to be around. Both of them loved children--Megan, the ones she worked with; Chris, his own. Their short-lived lives is a reminder to me on how precious our time is and that we should make the most of what we have. But that doesn't mean allowing yourself to be consumed with so many things that you don't actually get to enjoy what you have.

So, pause.

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2 Videos, 1 Dead Teen, Gang Violence Continues

If you have teenage sons, nephews, brothers, or--equally important--are concerned about the environment in which so many of our kids are growing up, you should watch these two videos below.

You've likely seen the first one. It went viral in January, and shows an uncle beating his teenage nephew with a belt. The uncle was outraged that his nephew had been on Facebook glorifying and claiming to be in a gang. So in an attempt to discipline--and it's safe to say, embarrass--the kid, the elder recorded a minute-long video and forced his nephew to denounce gang activity. I, like millions of people, watched this video nearly a year ago when I saw it posted online. It was shared over several days on Facebook and other social media sites, sparking much debate as to whether the uncle had gone too far. Some commended the uncle for doing what he thought was necessary to keep his nephew from going down a dangerous path. Others believed the uncle should've handled it differently. And some even found the video funny.

Well, unfortunately, in this second video, this time a news clip, it tells how 16-year-old Michael Taylor was shot and killed last week outside of his home in Terrytown, Louisiana. Michael is the same kid who was in the viral video nearly a year ago being disciplined by his uncle. According to a story by news station WDSU, Michael's family believes his glorification of gang life, which apparently had continued, might have led to his death. Yesterday, police arrested a 21-year-old suspect in the killing.

Both videos are embedded below, with the older one first, and you should watch them in that order.

After our young people have been slain over senseless violence, it's too late to say you wish you would've done more. We need to acknowledge that this is happening far too often in predominantly black neighborhoods and schools, and not show a lack of concern if it isn't our kids or if we don't live in one of those neighborhoods.

We also need to stop condoning rap music and rappers who glorify gang life in their music, which has surged over the last few years. I've seen firsthand how kids will wear red bandannas (they call them flags) and holler "su woo" because Lil Wayne or Game does it. Those rappers will say that they aren't concerned about being role models and it's the parents' job to raise their kids. That's true, but that's also why I don't buy Lil Wayne or Game's CDs anymore. See how easy that is.

For Charlotte, below are a few organizations (click on the links) in which you can get involved to try to make a difference in a young boy's (or girl's) life, so hopefully he doesn't end up like Michael.

• Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Charlotte
• Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater Charlotte
• Communities in Schools of Charlotte-Mecklenburg
• MeckTeens

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My Memories of Aaliyah, and the Last Time She Performed In Charlotte

Fans, musicians, celebrities, media outlets, and people everywhere are remembering the late Aaliyah Haughton today. The beautiful R&B singer and actress died ten years ago today in a plane crash, at the age of 22. Known simply as Aaliyah and bursting into the spotlight before we knew of a fellow one-name superstar, Beyoncé, she was responsible for several hits from the mid-1990s up until her untimely demise in 2001. You wouldn't believe that she only lived long enough to release three albums: Age Ain't Nothing But A Number (1994), One In A Million (1996), and the self-titled Aaliyah (2001).

She also released a few hit songs on movie soundtracks (back when movies put out soundtracks), including "Are You That Somebody?" on the Dr. Dolittle soundtrack in 1998. That was the summer I'd just graduated high school. I remember going to a house party and dancing to the song with a girl I had a crush on. She was actually dressed like Aaliyah at the party--baggy jeans, cutoff shirt showing her midriff (the singer changed her style as she got older, but in her teens she dressed like a tomboy). I thought about that girl for the rest of the summer!

Aaliyah had so many influences we still see today in music and fashion. I, like many people, continue to enjoy her songs and music videos--other faves of mine are "At Your Best (You Are Love)" and "Try Again".

I regret not having ever seen her in concert. I did some digging (and by that I mean Googling) to try to find the last time Aaliyah performed in concert in Charlotte. I came across a 1997 press release for the Budweiser Superfest concert tour from that year (coincidentally, the latest installment stopped in Charlotte last night with Jill Scott and Anthony Hamilton). The headliners were Mary J. Blige, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and Dru Hill, with Ginuwine and Aaliyah as the opening acts. On September 1, 1997 they came to the Charlotte Coliseum (for people who moved to Charlotte after 2007, the coliseum used to be on Tyvola Road and was torn down, even though the building was less than 20 years old, because the city built a new arena in Uptown for the Charlotte Bobcats in 2005). When Aaliyah performed in Charlotte, I was just starting my senior year in high school, growing up two hours away in Rembert, SC. I would have loved to have seen her then. And now.

Do you remember that concert tour from 1997? Did you see it in Charlotte? If so, post in the comments section below.

A backstage pass from the 1997 tour. [Source]

If you want to relive some memories of Aaliyah, check out MTV.com's "Aaliyah: Celebrating Her Legacy, 10 Years Later" and Billboard.com's "Aaliyah's Top 10 Billboard Hits." Those links include photos and videos. Also, the Aailyah: One in a Million special airs at 8 p.m. tonight on BET.

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In Memory of Kemper Holiday and Every Young Man We’ve Lost Too Soon

This is a bit of a departure from what I typically blog about here on Grown People Talking. But it's in honor of a great, young man who lost his life too soon.

Around this time a year ago tonight, December 14, 2009, I received a call from my mom saying that she'd just heard that my cousin Kemper Holiday* had been shot and killed. She didn't want to believe it, and neither did I. He was one of the last people you'd expect to hear this had happened to. But sadly, it was true. In this age of mobile phones and text messages, we were all getting the news seemingly minutes after the shooting had taken place.

Kemper was just 23 years old. While that age made him an adult, I still thought and think of him as a kid because I grew up with his older brother Felepe. Felepe, my twin brother Marvis, and I were inseparable as kids. And Kemper was his little brother who looked up to him a lot and often followed us around when we'd be at their house or in their neighborhood. So most of my memories of Kemper are from his youth, but over the years I watched him grow into a talented, young man.

Kemper Holiday.

He developed an amazing talent for music. At a young age, he began singing in his mom's gospel choir. And as a teenager, he became minister of music at a local church, a position that showcased his talent to many. He became the go-to guy to sing and play keyboard at weddings, funerals, and special events. Kemper was also an aspiring rapper who had a knack for harmonies and songwriting that helped him make a name for himself.

The last time I saw him, I believe, was in March of last year. He lived in our hometown, Rembert, SC, where we all grew up. Marvis called him up one day because we were planning a memorial service for two of our childhood friends and classmates who died in a car accident in March 1999. We knew that the 10-year-anniversary of that was approaching last year so we wanted to honor their memories and their families by getting everyone together for an evening in Rembert. Marvis asked Kemper if he would provide the entertainment because we felt he would be perfect for this event that we knew would be part-somber, part-celebratory. He agreed, and that night he added the perfect touch to the event. As he’d done so many times, he sang songs that provided comfort to people.

That was the gift Kemper had. He was the gift a group of senseless thugs took away one year ago, one night in Rembert. My hometown is small, but violence happens anywhere, and far too much violence happens there. Kemper was in the wrong place at the wrong time when a home invasion took place. A shootout ensued, even though he wasn’t armed. He was the only one who lost his life.

A few weeks ago, while we were back home during the Thanksgiving holiday, we went to see Kemper's parents. His mom, Pat, greeted us at the door, saying that she was happy to see us and that we must have known she was struggling today. It was a sad day because it was their first Thanksgiving without Kemper, who lived with them up until the time of his death. Last Thanksgiving, both of her sons were home--Felepe was visiting from Atlanta--and it was a joyous occasion. This Thanksgiving, with Kemper no longer with us and Felepe in Colorado for work, Pat was having a tough time dealing. I'm glad we were able to visit her for about an hour. We sat in the living room talking, while James was asleep around the corner in the den.

Sitting there was my first time hearing Pat recap Kemper's last day. She talked about events of that day from when she'd last seen him that morning up until that night when she received the call no mother ever wants to get. Her eyes welled up the entire time she was talking, but she remained strong and composed.

The most touching moment, though, is when she talked about how different life is now without Kemper. How she still often expects that he'll come walking through the door. She said that they'd recently sold his car because it became too painful seeing it parked under the carport each day. One day, she'd pulled into the driveway and saw his car and said to herself, "Oh, Kemper's home already," thinking that he'd gotten home from work early. But the instance his name passed her mind, she snapped back to reality, realizing that Kemper's car was there, but he wasn't home. Nor would he ever be again. When she told that story, I felt my emotions building. It was hurt mixed with anger. I began to think that every young man who walks around here carrying guns, having no regard for life, should have to sit and watch a mother tell this story. How would they feel if it was their mother telling this story?

We walked over to speak to James, who in Thanksgiving tradition had fallen asleep on the couch watching a football game. He hugged us and began talking about how tough this holiday was without Kemper. He shared stories about how he's learned how his son impacted so many people's lives in just 23 years.

Several members of Kemper's family gathered last year during Christmas, less than a week after his funeral.

I think about Kemper often. Even though I hadn't seen him much over the last few years, I think about him because I know he should still be here living his life. But God had other plans. And Kemper's family has some of the strongest faith I've ever seen, so we're all comforted in knowing that they are comforted by that.

Okay, that's where I should end this. But since this is my blog and I say what I want, I'll say this. This past year, I've gone back to my hometown the fewest number of times I ever have since I moved away years ago. I've always lived less than two hours away (Charlotte and Augusta are about equal distance from there, and before that I was in college in Columbia, which is even closer), but I didn't realize this until recently. After Kemper died, something changed in how I see my hometown. While he lost his life that night, the guys he was with, some who are his cousins and friends, and some who I grew up with, haven't learned the lessons of that night. Kemper was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but there are too many wrong places in these times we're living in. And it's happening to too many young black males in small towns like Rembert, SC, and big cities all over this country. How many young black men do we have to lose before young black men decide they want a better future for themselves; a different future for their mothers?

Earlier this year, Pat launched the Kemper Brennen Holiday Memorial Scholarship Fund in her son's honor, giving an initial $5,000 in October to Allen University in Columbia, where Kemper had attended. Contributions can be mailed in the scholarship's name to 8080 Black River Road, Rembert, SC 29128.

Kemper's in a better place. We all try to remind ourselves of that, even though it's hard. And I'm thankful for the memories I have of him.

*Some of my relatives spell Holliday with two L’s and some spell Holiday with one. 

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Chris Henry's Mother and Organ Recipients Reunite on 'NFL Today'

I was sitting in my mom's living room on Thanksgiving Day watching NFL Today when I was reminded of how much I have to be thankful for. The CBS pre-game NFL show ran a powerful and emotional segment on the four people who received organs from former Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry who died last December in Charlotte. Henry died from head injuries after falling off the back of a pickup truck during a domestic dispute with his fiancée. But from his tragic death--he was just 26 years old--came four gifts of life.

Henry’s mother, Carolyn Glaspy, flew to Charlotte earlier this month to meet the four recipients of her son's organs along with their families. It was Glaspy who, in this same hospital, 11 months earlier made the decision to donate her son's organs after he'd been declared brain dead.

Gathered at Carolinas Medical Center, Glaspy met Donna Arnold, James Benton, Thomas Elliott, and Brian Polk. Arnold received Henry's pancreas and one of his kidneys; Benton received his liver; Elliott received his lungs; and Polk received Henry's other kidney. It was an emotional scene as they met Glaspy for the first time and thanked her. She carried a blanket that bore her son's face. “Believe it or not, this is my first tear," Glaspy said. "I think this is my closure. This is what he wanted me to do. I can rest in peace now."

This touching reunion was made possible by LifeShare of the Carolinas and Carolinas Medical Center. After the segment aired, the broadcast returned to the TV studio where sports analyst James Brown was overcome with emotion and his colleague Boomer Esiason had to take over.

Below is video of NFL Today's story, "Chris Henry's Legacy Lives On."



Visit http://www.donatelife.net/ to learn more about becoming an organ donor.

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Chris Henry Remembered

Family and friends got together in Charlotte yesterday in honor of Chris Henry's birthday. Henry, a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, died tragically last December after falling off the back of a pickup truck on a northwest Charlotte road during a domestic dispute with his fiancée, Loleini Tonga. Tonga and their three children live here, so Henry's family came to visit to remember their loved one who died at just 26 years old. He was also remembered last night by former teammate and good friend Chad Ochocinco, who sent out a special tweet before competing on Dancing With the Stars: “Showtime in 8 minutes, going HAM tonight in memory of Chris Slim Henry R.I.P. #15 happy birthday bruh, smile on me 2night 85 15=100ways.”

Read more about Henry's family getting together for his birthday in this article on Bengals.com.

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In Memory of KoKo

I just learned this evening that Tiwanna Hagans, owner of KoKoMo’s Coffeehouse in Uptown, died last night. I'm saddened by the news because not only did I not know she had health problems, but she is a young woman gone too soon and she was an inspiration to everyone who knew her.

I met KoKo, as most people called her (and how she got the name for her coffee shop), a couple of years ago while I was an associate editor for Charlotte magazine. I was always looking for story ideas and interesting people to profile, and a mutual friend told me about this "young woman who was a Johnson C. Smith graduate who had just opened her second coffee shop." She was just the kind of biz profile I looked for.


I remember going by the Uptown location of KoKoMo's to interview her for the article and how she was extremely busy and kept apologizing for being so busy since she and I had an appointment. I told her I didn't mind waiting, and as I soaked in the atmosphere, the scene would become the basis for the article: "The Right Flavor."

A couple of months later when the article came out, KoKo thanked me profusely because she said she felt it would be good publicity for her business. And she also said the photo that accompanied the article was one of the best ever taken of her (which is the photo you see above). But credit for that goes to Charlotte magazine's photographer Chris Edwards.

I would sometimes see KoKo out at events. She didn't get out nearly as much as she liked because she had a demanding schedule as a small business owner. The last time I saw her was back in June at Pop Life--the weekly event at Apostrophe. We talked for about 10 minutes and I enjoyed catching up with her. I didn't know that would be our last conversation.

This is a reminder to us all that tomorrow isn't promised, and that we should take time to enjoy life.

My friend and colleague Glenn Burkins, editor and publisher of Qcitymetro.com, has written a great article about KoKo. And in it, he details what led to her death, but more importantly how she will be remembered. Click here.

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